...back into the swing of things...

I've been MIA for the past two weeks i believe..how sad! its been rather crazy around here! With spring quarter starting this past monday, I have been swamped with all sorts of stuff to do! I've decided that this quarter will be a suicide mission for myself, and ask for my sanity to be kept in everyones prayers :) Im taking on 20 credit hours again, and it all evens out that I will be reading about 2 or more books per week..why did i want to teach English again? ;)

I am pretty excited about everything going on this quarter though. For one of my classes we will be setting up reading workshops for a local charter school in Dayton. After getting seated on Tuesday my teacher put 5 stats on the board..and we had to write down our biggest fear about these stats, then we talked about them...
-Urban School
-Charter school
-98% African American
-60% below poverty level
-1/3 have one parent incarcerated
and this is where we are going to work 4-8th graders..I'm a little nervous about it, but definitely excited too! I'll be working with an 8th grade classroom( since 8th grade is closer to what I want to eventually teach), and I'll be working with one other person every week. Tomorrow we are taking a field trip to the Dayton Public Library with a piece of roller lugggage to fill up for our 'class library'! how exciting! Maybe I can do my own mini series on my experiences with these kids :)

now I'm off to catch up with all my online shenanigans, finish some more homework, and read Shakespeare! be jealous! ;) (haha..riiiiight..)

think spring.. think spring.. think spring :)

what a week its been! and thus starts another! whew..i sure am glad this is finals week, and next is Spring break! Being an english major does have its perks when it comes to finals...usually a paper is only due, and no final exam! yay! so i only have two exams this week..philosophy and biology..which shouldnt be that hard!

lets talk about this photo... so last thursday, i was having the most terrible day. From my waking moment, it started going downhill. Once i got home, i pulled the trashcan in from the curb, because i was the first one home that day (which usually neverrr happens) and with our garage door up, our backdoor will slam shut and lock if there is any wind at all..and there was a slight breeze. So it decided to slam shut in my face right as i was getting ready to walk back through. Now, it wouldnt have been so bad if i hadnt left my cellphone sitting on the woodstove in the garage.. sigh..so i stand there for a few moments, trying to decide what to do as the sky opens and starts to drizzle on me..i pull over a chair to the trashcan i had just put in the corner by the fence ( a six foot wooden privacy fence, by the way) and hop up on the trashcan, then proceed to climb over. I jumped over in the neighbors yard, because that was the best option, where i had about an inch ledge to balance myself on. Catch one: i had my sonoma slip-on shoes on, which would never have helped my balance..so i took them off (note one: it was rainy and muddy). so now I am doing this in socks..as I land on the other side of the fence, I land in a mud puddle..well, not actually a puddle, just a big pile of mud, period. so now, I take off my socks, and trek around the neighbors yard (they werent home fyi) because i did not want to jump yet another fence to take the shortcut..now to catch number two: there was a key to our gate hidden in our back yard..i totally forgot about it in my frustration..(and hey, my urgent need to pee overshadowed clear thinking) But hey, at least i had an adventure..although ive been laughed at by my family nonstop for doing this.. :)

I'm currently in the process of packing up my room! over my break I'm going to redecorate and paint. Mama wants it to match the rest of the house (its a light blue/white swirl type of thing now) and I want to make it look a little more "grown-up". I think i'll be adding some photos and such, and I'll post some pictures of the finished room when i get done! :)

Other news...missions conference is in a week! yay ..although I got some slightly disappointing news regarding an issue i had been praying about, and with some bad timing of other events, I've been dealing with a disappointed heart. But i'm keeping my head up, and remembering that God's timing is best in every situation..although its so hard to accept sometimes..

With next week being spring break, I'm definitely planning an photography outing! I've already decided on the first warm clear day, I'm heading out and about! gonna fill up my car and head out probably towards Germantown/Farmersville and who knows where else! I'll probably tuck in the GPS, just in case..but I'm excited for an adventure..haha..adventures are my favorite!

medicine for the soul

I think this photo really just describes this week. crazy! One more day to go, then its the weekend. finally!! just tonight, my dad and I were goofing around, and I got to laughing, and could not stop. It was one of those, breath taking, stomach hurting, tears rolling, laughing spells. Mama could only look at me, laugh, and say that she thinks I'm overly tired. haha But i think we all need some of those moments to remind us of little things, and to just get out the daily grime, because laughing is better than crying! :) and laughter is definitely medicine for the soul...

its been a long week, but short at the same time, how does that happen? I've so much to do, with school wrapping up for this quarter, and I just found out that I'll have about 15 books for next quarter that I'll need. that is a ton of books! Another example of the long week is the episode i had about the lost pen! I don't know how its possible to lose an ink pen in your hair, but i definitely did it the other day. feeling for it on the opposite side, searching the pile of books and papers, physically getting up and looking around, going and getting another pen, sitting back down, 10 minutes later getting an itch and finding the pen then. hahaha I probably looked so silly! definitely glad no one was watching ;)

well, now that I've done a little something here, and played around on flikr, I can go enjoy a piece of checkerboard cake (ohh its my all time favorite!!!) and CSI which comes on in 25 minutes! yay :)

adjustments

so its been a while since I've popped in here. its just been so hectic of late! :)

like the photo, minor adjustments make a big impact on a piano and how it sounds, just a little too much of one turn can dramatically change how it sounds. Life is like this too, the slightest adjustment of something going on can dramatically change how things fall into place. God helps us to make those adjustments in our lives, no matter how 'small' they may seem, but I wouldn't want anyone else in charge of the tuning tools of my life. I am looking forward to what adjustments He may have in store for me, even though they may seem hard ones to make, I know my God always knows what is best for me and my life...

I cant believe its already March! that's so crazy! I only have three full weeks left of school before spring break. ahh! that means crunch time..(or really, "catch up on procrastination" time) but I can honestly say I didn't do much procrastinating this quarter. yay me! ;) I only have to write an 8 pages paper, do a 5 minute ASL presentation and take three exams. which definitely isn't a whole lot, though it may seem it. And this quarter I've only had to write maybe 25 pages worth of papers and do around 600 pages worth of reading, where last quarter it was 150 pages worth of papers and 3000 pages worth of reading (granted, i estimated up for the reading lol)

I got the email I've been waiting on today for permissions to take the beginning series of my 'teacher' classes. I was so excited! ha, i think I almost "woohoo-ed and yay-ed" at the beginning of bio class when i got it! haha I really thought I had been denied permission, and couldnt figure out why, but thankfully it came through. I can honestly say I am excited about these classes and prepping for my future classroom. I am mentally done with college, and only have 22 more classes left; and am probably taking a few summer classes. I am praying steadily for the classes I need, to be offered during the right quarters during summer and that I will be able to handle what I want/need to take. My mom is not happy about summer classes, but it is something that I must do in order to graduate on time, and I'm hoping she will better understand as time goes on. I think it may be difficult for her, as well as my dad, to understand all this college "stuff" because they did not go to college, and its also hard to see their only child growing up, and ready to grow up.

Our Missions Conference at church is March 24th-28th. I'm excited for it to come. Our missionary speaker will be Jim White, missionary to Togo, West Africa. Theres a few things in this area that I don't really want to extrapolate (what a big word, right? haha) on just yet, but in the coming weeks, I'm praying that God will have His way in things...
Also that week there are four of us planning on singing..O how I love singing! :) The plan as of now is to sing "I'm a Solder" by the Rochester's (who, if you don't know them, are an ahhhh-mazing bluegrass gospel group). Its a song set to the verses of "Come Thou Fount" and I'll be playing it on the piano. Its a song I've just recently heard and have come to absolutely LOVE. I catch myself singing it all day long, and am greatly looking forward to singing it with the others.

well, now that I've semi-caught up with most things, its time for dinner prep I believe. I've been trying to improve at my cooking skills, and dinner preparations. Most think since my mama is such an amazing lady in the kitchen, I should be too, but oh how wrong they are! ;) but I'm slowly getting better, and willing to learn! 'cause hey, one day I'll be the wife and mama, and I need all the help and preparing I can get! :)

...Lost in the lyrics..

so I've been neglecting flikr and Blogger this week. Too much stuff going on i suppose! where to catch up...
with the past multiple uploads to Flikr, I've been on some Music kick. I have no clue why. Its been carrying over into life too, I've been lost in the lyrics and flow, My music is going nonstop, Ive got bluegrass (or some country too) playing somewhere around me most of the day. I havent been able to get myself away from the piano. I'm not sure why either. And everything I've been playing has been the slow classical things, or slowed down hymns. Why? I've no clue. Even my bluegrass playlist has been filled with the more slow, usually sadder songs. I think this over abundance of snow is getting to me. Now I know, it seems like everything I've had to say here is always sad and depressing, ha. I'm not like this at allll through the day...i promise! :) I guess this is the only place that truly listens to my inner being.

onto bigger things....lets chat 'bout school! woo! ...not. snowdays are always good! haha last week, I skipped my Philosophy class due to the weather, (thank you WSU for NOT closing until after my classes took place) sometimes I Think I would be SO much better at running a campus... ;) Then Wednesday, campus ended up closing, Praise the Lord. :) Today produced a closure at 2pm...which only canceled one of my three classes today, and I journeyed my way home, only to do a 180 coming off the highway at 725 in Miamisburg. oh what fun that was. If i hadnt had control of my car, i would have probably kept turning and hit a few cars, (and this was only going less than 10 mph) thanks to my dads driving lessons in the snow, I am quite proud of myself for keeping things under control and not freaking out, although I had to take a few deep breaths after getting straightened out. ;)
Tomorrow morning I register for spring classes. What a stress reliever that will be after 7am! Class scheduling is one of the many things that keep me awake at night, and stressed out during this time of year! i only have 22 more classes until i can graduate, and I worry so much about messing things up.
what else, what else...oh, saturday evening, we finally got to celebrate mine and my dads birthday with the whole family! my cousins got me two beta fish (haha) two males, red and blue. Their names are: Everett Cash, and Delmar Jennings. (if you caught on, theyre from "O Brother Where Art Thou" and the last names of two of my favorite country singers hehe)
though probably my favorite gift I knew about, I just didnt know WHEN i was getting it...a 357 magnum revolver. yes, a gun. My dad promised when I turned 21 he would buy me a handgun. yay! A revolver is a good starter for any person, and I cant wait for it to warm up so we can go to the range, or out to the farm and shoot. I've become pretty good with my .22 rifle, and now I plan on sharpening my skills with my 357. who said guns were for boys? ;)

well, I reckon this is where I should stop, and continue my studying...and prayers of a closing tomorrow...right, like that will happen :)

Oh the snow..

what a lovely day! snow everywhere and the sun decided to make its appearance this evening. I just love how after the snow, the sun always peeks out. It makes everything so pretty!

Today was a slow day, most unlike this past week. Its been a blur of days and classes, and today I could actually take a small breather. Though, philosophy and Biology were calling my name, I tried so very hard to ignore their calls ;)

I wanted to just enjoy the day with my camera and laptop, and mostly got to do that! I was so happy! Besides shoveling our driveway and sidewalks, as well as a neighbors this morning, and cleaning the church, since it was myy week, I got to do just what I wanted. So i decided to have some fun with eggs. Call it strange, call me a dork, I dont care ;) I've always wanted to do it, and after some questioning looks from my mama after raiding the kitchen, and after an oops moment in my room with a cracked egg (everything turned out fine n dandy by the way..), I was satisfied with a few takes. I told my mom that one of these days she'll open the egg carton and find a dozen faces staring back at her... :)

I so wanted to go out and build a snowman today, since this snow is the PERFECT snowman making stuff! But I didnt end up doing it, I got too cold from my morning photos outside, oh well, perhaps one day next week when the stresses of school are set in again, I'll bring out my inner child and build one, and really, it is a yearly tradition for me to build a snowman :)
I had quite the time with the self photos today. Even with not a trace of make-up on, and hair doing its own thing, I was fairly satisfied with them. Timing the shots just right to get the right effect of what I wanted proved to be a little difficult, and once inhaled the snow by accident instead of blowing out...I know, I know, blowing out and sucking in are two totally different things, I dont know how i managed to do it, but I got the photo to prove it..but, decided not to post it to Flikr to show the world my goofiness. ;)

bottled up...

its been such an emotional roller coaster for me this week..and I don't know why...this is so totally unlike me.
I'll be honest...Amber..reading your blog, about the dam breaking...touched something deep in me...I read it, re-read it, read it again. All the while sitting there with my mascara and eyeliner running, trying to wipe away the tears which were falling too fast for me to actually catch. Why did it strike me so deep? I'm not entirely sure, I think I'm waiting for my own dam to break, the one that I still cant put a finger on where its located... and I couldn't even think of how to express that, until I read those words...
Johnna, I know that feeling of being lost in a haze of what you feel...I know that feeling of distraction. Reading and keeping up with you two's blogs...I find something new everyday, and even if it sounds strange coming from a "stranger", I can feel a connection to what you're feeling...

Sometimes I feel so inadequate...My feelings get in the way..and my issues seem so trivial. I don't have to worry about a husband possibly getting deployed, I don't have children to worry about or take care of...I don't have a household to manage, or bills to pay...or even a job to work.
My biggest complaint today was someone who repetitively wasn't paying attention in Sign Language class, or the person who was acting like an idiot in the parking lot...My biggest worry as of now is what classes I will be taking to graduate on time, if i need to take a summer class in order to do so...These things are SO childish and seem to mess up my days...as I sit here, on my 21st birthday, I realize and acknowledge the woman I need to be...Childish things should pass away, and a new coat needs to be put on...I want so hard to be the woman that God intended me to be...but looking around...my life and 'problems' seem so little...soo unnecessary...and I get afraid, of not living up to the expectations of others...of the expectations I put on myself, and my tunnel seems so long...when I know it is so short, compared to the trials of other, and I feel so selfish for having a so called bad day..when it was actually a pretty good one...

...Church last night was great. The last Sunday of every month we have what is called a "yack n snack" where everyone brings food and after the service we eat (snack) and we fellowship and have a good time (thus the yacking part). If there happens to be a fifth Sunday, we have a "singsperation' where basically anyone who wants to sing, can. All the songs were truly wonderful, and spoke to my heart. Walking in last night, I had no idea that Allie, Rachel and I were going to sing our Blessed song. Heck, none of us knew the all words until we walked up on stage...we hadn't sang that song since July..But on the request of a man in the church, we sang it. My verse came along, and I started out pretty good...but then I really started to think about the words I was singing...and I almost lost it there on stage...

[...He's my shoulder to lean on, when I am down
that rock where he leads me when I'm over whelmed,
That place where he hides me, under his wing,
He's not just a song, He's the reason I sing... ]

I am So incredibly glad that I have that shoulder, that wing to hide under, I really don't know where or what I'd be without Him and his amazing Grace...

looking ahead...I am so thankful I can go ahead and lean on His arms for what lays ahead...because I know i cant make it without Him......I have no clue what God has in store for me....or really, who He wants me to completely be...but leaning on Him, and padded by prayers of others...I know I can make it through my Haze..through my Tunnel...because every tunnel does, in fact, come to an end...