poetry

so I'm sure I'll be posting a lot more in this quarter of school. A current class is titled Writing Workshop, sooo, those thoughts and writings will probably spill into here. :) so here's my latest 3 structured poems :)

Where I’m From

I am from a creative cook and tip top toolmaker

Who patiently sigh at my near kitchen catastrophes and mechanical mess-ups

And who loved me enough to use wooden spoons on my backside.

I am from an all American, hardworking, blue-collar family,

Who are not ashamed of dirty hands or the Constitution

And will wipe the dirt on a pair of faded Wranglers to shake your hand and run to defend freedom.

I am from preachin’, prayin’ and singin’

Where Amazing Grace abounds, the Bible is my roadmap and harmony fills the air

Where church can take place anywhere.

I am from blue eyes, brown eyes and righties

Who love to laugh and be silly, yet teach right and wrong with no grey areas,

Where God threw in a hazel eyed leftie who happens to be the perfect mix of both parents.

To Tell the Truth

To tell the truth, I hate when someone slurps a soda or chews a Cheeseburger like a cow,

Except when the crunchy chip or luscious lemonade is mine and I feel that I may never masticate marvelous meals any more.

And I hate when someone neglects to clear the several seconds on the microwave,

Unless the frigid discovered delicious dish is mine and excitement overcomes my senses.

To tell the truth I hate the pale pestering professor that lectures endlessly,

Except when attendance obtains extra credit on the exam.

And I hate when constant chattering commences around me during class,

Unless my eavesdropping entertains my mind more so than the monotonous teacher.

To tell the truth I hate sudden summer rain showers that send me running for shelter,

Except when the smell is sumptuous and new puddles can be played in.

And I hate sappy love story movies where the moony girl is star-struck by a sweetheart,

Unless I’m feeling sad about a single-life and boohooing about the boy who broke my heart.

To tell the truth, I hate weeding the giant growing garden in the June, July & August heat,

Except when a dip in the deep pool is promised alongside a plate of corn, okra and other garden greens.

And I hate canning in a small space named the kitchen,

Unless it’s the place where swapped stories, loud laughter and learning to be a future worthy wife abounds.

If Clint Eastwood Were the Principal

(side note, unless you know a lot about Clint Eastwood movies, you probably wont get this poem...theres a movie/quote reference in most every line)

If Clint Eastwood were the principal, things would definitely change.

School would contain two types of people- mostly the digging kind,

The building would be an obstacle course- are ya feelin’ lucky, punk?

All the ID tags would proclaim “Go ahead, make my day”.

If Clint Eastwood were the principal,

Teachers would be men with no name,

Teachers would have a classroom pet orangutan named Clyde

And teach how to earn a Fistful of Dollars.

If Clint Eastwood were the principal,

Students would run Every Which Way but Loose,

Students would learn how to be an outlaw, and

Students would be the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

If Clint Eastwood were the principal,

The staff would be Black Widows,

The janitor would be the Enforcer with a .44,

And the lunch ladies would serve prison food from Alcatraz.

If Clint Eastwood were the principal,

Everyday would be straight from a spaghetti western and you’ll probably get stuck with every dirty job that comes along.

Friendship

a poem i had to write for a class at school..and was told i "had" to post it. soo here it is! doesnt follow the traditional 'poetry' format, aaand I'm not completely happy with it, but it works :) dont be too harsh :)

and yes..some of these are true stories.. haha

Friendship

A friend will not question the shovel and mysteriously male-shaped bag lying in the shadows of your trunk when you show up at 3 a.m.

A friend will brush off the God-only-knows-what-that-is on the backside of your jeans and proceed to wipe it on your sleeve.

A friend will show up at a corn maze to save you from a bad date even if the indecisive weirdo changes plans last minute and doesn’t actually end up at the corn maze.

A friend will have a silent conversation with you while standing on the opposite side of the room.

A friend will call you names but bring out the ghetto attitude if someone else calls you those same names.

A friend will turn tears of sorrow into tears of laughter - even if it takes all night.

A friend will not be able to stay angry at you for long because something “super important has happened that can possibly change the face of humanity” if left untold.

A friend will know your quirks and innumerable blonde moments and will most likely hold those things against you in the name of friendship.

A friend will know how to heal the pain no medicine can fix, doesn’t need fancy equipment to diagnose the problem, and only consults doctors such as Ben, Jerry and Disney to perform operations.

A friend will conspire with your family to 'decorate' your truck at 2a.m. on your birthday even when your birthday is in December and the toilet paper ends up frozen.

A friend will hear the silent teardrops and catch them before they fall even if it means leaving with a soaked T-shirt.

A friend will barge into your house and eats the last chocolate chip cookie found on the planet, even when it means hearing the bell of a WWF match.

A friend will know you better than you know yourself, gently remind you of who you are when you forget, and shout silent encouragement of the potential person you may become.

Blessings

It’s the last hours before the last day of the year. Craziness. This year has flown by! So many things have transpired this year that will escape my memory. I have met so many people that have had an impression on my heart and life. Some of those people that have popped into my life will, I believe, be lifelong friends. SO many blessings have rained down on me from God, and only from Him. It amazes me how many things have happened in my life that God has given when I don’t deserve one small part of them. God has been good this year.

My photography has taken off, and I love it. Being with my camera, snapping small moments in time is such a rush for me. It is in those small moments that I feel free to be me; I can see the world through my lens and allow everyone to view the photo in their own eyes. And making a little money doing it, isn’t so bad either-though that is most definitely not the reason why I use my camera. God has given me some small amount of talent through photography and want to use it. He gives each of us something special to use for His glory, and what right do we have NOT to use it? My prayer for 2011 is for God to use my talents more for Him. Eventually I would like to take a few photography classes to hone my little amount of skills, but that is in the future.

I will graduate in 6 months. Wow. For some, this may not be a big deal-but for me, this is huge. I will be the first in my family to graduate with a bachelors degree. I have worked hard to get here and it has not been an easy road. Some may say that English Education is not a profession that is worth getting excited over at graduation, but I pose a question- have YOU tried teaching a group of students where some have no desire to learn? Where some do not see the importance of reading? Where some do not like you for any apparent reason? Where you must help the group achieve good scores on standardized testing? Have you tried making a lesson plan from scratch that was successful (trust me..this is hard…and successful is incredibly arbitrary haha) ? Have you seen the effects of rough home lives, drugs, alcohol, bullying, and death on teenagers? I challenge you to think about people as an individual as you look at them. This is the role of a good teacher. Children are the future, and teachers share the immense burden of equipping the future with knowledge. I want nothing more than to be a good teacher. This will mean that sometimes I will not be popular. This means that doing the right thing will not always be the most liked thing. Sometimes I will stand alone. But I am prepared to do so. God is always near, and I pray that He is always included in my classroom. I covet your prayers as I continue my journey through these last months, and as I (hopefully) begin grad school in July. Yet another gift which God has blessed me with is the passion for teaching, and even thinking about a future classroom gives me butterflies. I am so excited, yet so incredibly scared to be on this adventure.

I have innumerable weaknesses, yet God has his hand on my life, and his spirit lives within me. I am so very thankful for a family that loves me, and being raised in a wonderful Christian home. I have been in church since 9mos before I was born, and was saved by the amazing grace of God at a young age. I am so incredibly blessed, yet I do not deserve them. This is the ultimate example of God’s grace-receiving something I do not deserve.

I am indecisive. I am not beautiful. I have a temper that sometimes gets me into trouble. I have an attitude that comes out when my temper is starting to show. Sometimes I do not show kindness to people. When I get tired, I am short with people. I am not thin. I am easily annoyed with stupid people. My patience sometimes wears thin. I do not tell of God’s saving grace to enough people. I do not read my Bible enough. My weaknesses outweigh my strengths, and these are a few of the things I wish to change in this upcoming year. With God as my guide, and the reason for my existence, I wish to give Him all the glory for the strengths which I possess. In my weakness I am made strong through Him.

I wish all of you a Happy New Year, and may God bless you in this new beginning. Don’t forget to stop and breathe every so often: take in the beauty of the things around you- a child’s smile, a couple in love, the silent company of a good friend, the smell of the rain or snow, the color of the sky, the song in your own heart.

beautiful

And you wonder why I say I'm not good enough. when you got all those beautiful faces when you walk in all those places, yeah- you try to act tough, play it down for me, but they're all what people see, that's why they never see me.

But Baby, if you could see me how I see me- look in MY mirror, see the empty space the unfilled place- the unbeautiful face.

Boy you dont know what its like, how it feels to be the last one chosen, the
un-chosen ugly duckling looking in, constantly wondering, feeling my faint heart beat thundering in my chest always knowing...

those beautiful faces will never be...me.

A path

ohh what a whirlwind life has become! It seems as if every post i make entails the blur of life. Its only Tuesday...but it seems like it should be Thursday..is it so terrible that I wish it were?

This week and next are both joyful and sorrowful: joyful in the sense that the quarter is wrapping up and I'll be finished until January; Sorrowful because I'll be leaving my freshmen at Trotwood. Some people pat me on the back and say "way to endure.." but I've loved it SO much!! School systems and communities obtain stigmas that are hard to shake, but when you look closer, all I see are children. Children who are in need of an education just as Oakwood, Kettering, and Valley View kids are. Is Trotwood HS the place that I can see myself teaching at? perhaps. I don't know exactly where God wants me at this moment. I do want to get the feel for other environments before I jump in head over heels though.

Coming out of this quarter, I have so much to think about. So many heavy things on my heart. I admit that I get bogged down with my thoughts, and try to fix other people's problems, but I just cant help it. And I'll probably more than likely die trying to save the world. Just a fact of life. So many things to think about as far as my teaching career goes, my life, God's will, and just the directions i want to take. But all in all, the only thing that matters to me is GOD'S will. I have to keep reminding myself that my life isn't my own...that God has everything perfectly planned out : as long as I keep close to him. Now that may sound a little strange, and i don't want to get into a theological discussion, but I wholeheartedly believe that God has things planned out for us as long as we stay on His path. Sometimes we tend to step off the path and do our own thing. This is where things go awry. Sometimes its hard to stay the course, but that is the fight we all must endure. I'm not sure where my path is going, sometimes I'm not even sure where the path may lead from day to day.
All I know is this: God has placed me on my journey, I am His and He is mine, The storms may blow, my tears may fall, He knows what's right for me, He always picks me up when I'm broken, and I will not question His path in my life.

this & that

Sometimes I feel Indescribable: Words cannot express those things I wish to convey,

Sometimes I hear My own voice: but it’s something foreign, lost and unsafe unlike the ships in bay.

Sometimes I see Things in the mirror: I’m searching through the debris.

I’m staring into the abyss, but the abyss stares into me.

If you only knew why I say the things I do,

Those simple phrases; well maybe they’re more of a cue.

If you only knew the things that transpire behind these hazel eyes,

Maybe I’m just looking for someone to look behind the disguise.

My thoughts can run deeper than the ocean,

You may disagree, but, you couldn’t keep up with the thought motion.

Even broken glass can throw a bright reflection,

Rainbows may be distracting, but it’s the shards that cause introspection.

Things I’ve learned:

- I need to work on getting my thoughts un-scattered.

- Heels are not such an amazing idea to wear when teaching all day. EVEN IF they are super cute. After about 11 hours on your feet, it is NOT a good thing.

- Some students will always have nasty attitudes, and will call you bad names.

- No matter how hard I try, I will not be able to save the world. But I will probably die trying.

- Some people…are just idiots. End of story.

- Some things…never change.

- I wish I had more confidence.

- There are some occasions when I think I am too organized, but it helps keep me sane most times.

- My friends are absolutely amazing. I dont know what i'd do without their support.

- I forgot how “butterflies” feel.

- Learning experiences should not be the same as feelings of self-disappointment, I need to work on feeling proud of myself instead of being my own worst critic.

- It is possible for me to feel beautiful…and it’s also possible for someone else to think so about me.