I am really trying to get back into my blogging. It seems so hard for me to do anymore- which is strange since I now "have" more time than ever. Oh well, but really, I am trying to get back into writing more often.
Since last time, I am now partial weight bearing!! Thank r Lord for that!! Although it hurts to walk, I am glad that I can. It has been a LONG 3 months, and I am looking forward to walking like a normal person again. Although my ortho said 50% of my weight, I'm cheating a bit and trying to push myself. Bad, perhaps, but I want so badly to be back to normal. I am still visiting the wound clinic once a week, but the wounds are healing up and looking SOOOO much better!! God is good, isn't He?!
In other news, I am still aggressively pursuing a job. I know now why God did not give me one last year, but I am praying that his will gives me one this year. Although I know it is wrong, I am sure I will be very upset and depressed if I cannot find one. It really bothers me that there doesn't seem to be a place for me- what is so wrong with me? I feel so strongly that teaching is the right place for me- I cannot explain how strong my desire is to teach. I am still hoarding teacher things and pinning teacher pins on Pinterest like a mad woman. Please pray for me. Pray for Gods guidance. I applied to what is my dream job two weeks ago and have not heard back from them. Although it is an hours drive from here, it is truly my dream job, and not a day goes by that I don't think on it.
There is so much on my mind these days ( yes, more than the usual). I know I needs Gods guidance and wisdom. There are heavy things on my heart and in my mind that I cannot shake. Part of the reason why I am up so late has to do with these things, and the other part is due to my medication and really, fear of sleeping because of nightmares and pain. This wreck has truly messed me up, and I cannot sleep at night unless the whole thing is replaying over and over again in my trapped mind. Even now, as I think about it, tears come to my eyes; no, I am not weak, I have been strong (yes, I will say it because it is not out of arrogance). I am afraid that I will never regain what I have lost. It is times like these where I wish I had someone to lie next to. But, God has not allowed that to happen either; yet He will in His timing.
I think sometimes that I do not blog on anything in particular, but just regurgitate my thoughts and feelings into one pile. I am sorry for that to anyone who may read. So, on that note, I will sign off with some Andrea-Facts and leave my other thoughts for mother time with a more direct line of thought.
- the tv show "bones" is a good show. A bit too sexual for me, but mom and I have started the seasons together.
- I miss feeling the grass beneath my feet... I cannot wait to walk on the grass in my bare feet, even though I won't be able to feel it on 4 of 10 toes.
- our new church sign looks stellar!!! Seriously, it's awesome. I'm glad I could take part in the designing process. Although its a little complicated to operate, I'm a fast learner ;)
- why is everyone surprised that I spray painted my walker myself?? Yes, the camo looks realistic: I've told y'all, I'm an underground graffiti artist haha (and just a country girl trapped in the city at the present).
- broken bones hurt like crazy. Also, I'm not sure how I kept it together during this while thing. I guess it can be attributed to shock. I was way too calm...and cold. I was freezing on a warming January day in my short sleeves.
- I really want to get out and go shooting again soon. My shooting arm needs strengthened! My 357 & AR need warmed up again!!! But then again, ammo is too expensive to waste.
- on that note, did you know that several govt agencies are buying and hoarding ammo?? Very fishy, mr. Government, very fishy. And everyone should be very concerned.
- I want to teach with every fiber of my being. I've never felt anything this strong, and I cannot wait to walk into my classroom and finally be the real "Miss Myers"
God is good always,
Andrea
Annie
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