a few thoughts

[Just thought I’d swing by here before tucking in for the night..dropping off some of my thoughts. Been having so many thoughts through my head & heart lately…and sorting through them can prove to be quite difficult at times.]

Time has been slipping by so rapidly lately. Can you believe it’s already November?! (Well, tomorrow it will be!) It seems so impossible, but there’s nothing that can be done about it. So much has been happening around me, and sometimes it feels like I am standing still in this constant blur…trying and wanting to reach out into the motion; but so mesmerized, and knowing if I try to feel, it may all come crashing down on me.

My own personal blur will be slowing down soon. Wright State classes end for their huge winter break on November 19, so I have two more weeks at Trotwood High School, then finals week, and then I’m finished. Goodness, this quarter has been so short!! I will honestly miss my students and my CT at Trotwood, as well as the other department teachers. It has been such a great experience! (And no, I’m not just saying that because my own CT could possibly read this ;]). My time there has been amazing, and I’ve learned things about a classroom, and about myself. I need to speak up more, some people don’t believe I have the ability to ‘get loud and mean’ and running a classroom will force me to focus my scattered thoughts. Becoming a teacher sometimes scares the daylights outta me. Honestly, it does. Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder if this is where I belong…Is this REALLY what God intends for me? Then the next day I’m in the classroom, it all makes sense (usually…ha) and I know, I mean KNOW, this is where God wants me to be. This is my calling, and I will do everything in my power to serve HIM with the abilities He gave me in the first place. I just have to keep reminding myself that my miniscule talents and minute abilities ARE from Him, and for HIS use only.

This leads me to my next thought…at church tonight Allie, Ms. Rachel and I sang our “Blessed” song. By request of my mother, we sang this song we haven’t touched in such a long time…months. But like usual, every word, every note came back to us as we started singing. Such a great reminder: we ARE indeed blessed beyond our imagination. There weren’t many dry eyes in the auditorium, including my own. So many times we get caught up in our life, in the grind, in the chaos and forget to count our blessings…

When He walks among us, all that He does
All of His mercy, and all of His love,
If the pen of a writer, could write every day,
even this world, just COULDN'T contain
How I have been blessed.

Warmth in the winter, flowers in spring
laughter of summer, the changing of leaves
food on my table, a good place to sleep
clothes on my back and shoes on my feet,
Oh I have been blessed....

I HAVE BEEN BLESSED GOD'S SO GOOD TO ME
PRECIOUS ARE HIS THOUGHTS OF YOU AND ME
NO WAY I COULD COUNT THEM, THERES NOT ENOUGH TIME
SO I'LL JUST THANK HIM FOR BEING SO KIND,
GOD IS SO GOOD, SO GOOD
I HAVE BEEN BLESSED

Arms that will raise, a voice that will talk
hands that can touch, and legs that can walk.
Ears that can listen and eyes that can see,
Oh I've got to praise Him as long as I BREATHE,
for I have been blessed.

A father and mother, who nurtured and raised,
brothers and sisters and the memories made.
Our pastor to lead us, this alter to pray
Stripes that can heal, and a BLOOD THAT CAN SAVE.
Oh i have been blessed.

He's my shoulder to lean on, when I am down,
that rock where He leads me, when I'm overwhelmed.
That place where He leads me, when I am down,
He's not just a song, He's the REASON I sing.
Oh I have been blessed.

We live in a country, the GREATEST ON EARTH
where the flag stands for FREEDOM and what it is worth
she stands in the harbor, Miss Liberty calls
all have gave some, but some gave it all
FOR ME TO BE BLESSED

Like I said earlier, SO many thoughts in my mind..who knows, this may prove to be a writing week. Lyrics and poems have been going through my head constantly. One of these days I’ll get them all out, or mayyyybe find someone who is willing and wanting to listen to it all.

ramblings

I guess this would classify as a rambling post. But then again, I do believe all of mine are ;) It’s such a beautiful day out, and yet I’m inside..not gooood! Everything has been so pretty the past few days..and yet I’ve had so much on my mind. So many things are such a blur anymore, and I just don’t like it. Sometimes I wish life would slow down so I could actually take a deep breath of fresh air. But, life happens and I don’t think I’ll get a breath until next year. I’m letting myself get stressed out, which isn’t good at all. One, stress is just not good (duhh) and two, my body doesn’t handle stress well…headaches, hives, itching, horrible nightmares, yet people wonder why I make myself stay on top of things. If they only knew how it feels when I don’t stay organized and “over achieving”. . .

My student teaching is going very well. I am honestly enjoying it so much. ( I’ve been working on my lesson plan that my partner and I will be teaching soon, a CSI edition..woo!) I’ve grown attached to a lot of these kids, and it makes me long for my own classroom. It excites me SO much to think about my future classes and all the stuff I want to do. Maybe that’s just the young teacher in me, but to be completely honest, I never want to lose that sense of excitement for my class. God is so good to me and giving me the opportunity to teach children, how can I ever lose my joy in it?

I’ve not had time for a lot of photos throughout this journey, but hopefully once November rolls around, I’ll have more time. I’ve already got 9 orders for ABC frames, and two possible Senior shoots coming up, so things are gonna get even more hectic with my photography!! But I enjoy it so much, and I’m so very thankful God gave me a small bit of talent for photography.

Like I said, I’ve had a LOT on my mind lately, and just ask for your prayers. I try not to lose my optimistic view on life (too much of one, according to some), but yet I find myself laying awake at night…(or sitting out under the stars for the past few nights) and thinking about things around me, and Sometimes, it’s hard to hold back those few escaping tears; though I always (attempt to) cover them with a smile. The people I love, and the people around me deserve me at my best all the time, even when it’s hard to keep things inside. ( In case you’re wondering, nothing bad is going on..just a young girl dreaming and thinking about life…)

Annnyyhoooo…enough of my ramblings..gonna go find something else productive to do before heading to the farm for a family dinner. hope all is well with ya’ll!!! happppy gorgeous Saturday!!! :)